Chris: "...and if you drink Diet Coke you can be a rock star just like ME!  Well, maybe not JUST like me.  After all, I'm drop-dead gorgeous and you're not.  Ok, if you drink Diet Coke you can PRETEND to be a rock star like me.  Actually, I'm not even drinking Diet Coke.  I have Jack Daniels in this can, because Diet Coke sucks.  But they're paying me a bunch of money to hold the can and look drop dead gorgeous... so there ya go."

Kim: "Could I say something really quick?  I think that the philosophy of pretending to be a rock star could be equated to..."

Chris: "Oh shut up, Kim.  No one wants to listen to your intelligent babble.  They want to look at my drool-inducing face!  Now get out of my way, you're hogging my camera space!  Jeez, we modest people never get the recognition we deserve.  ESPECIALLY if we're drop-dead gorgeous, which (of course) I AM."

Director: "OK... CUT!!  THAT WAS GOOD BOYS.  LET'S TAKE IT ONE MORE TIME FROM THE TOP!!

Chris (to Kim): "Do you think I should take my shirt off this time?"

Kim:*shrug* "Gimme the can.  It's my turn to hold it.  CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME A BEER??!?"

(I am gorgeous. Get back, you hirsute brainiac!)