Shannon Hoon, RIP

About me:
name: suzie
age: 30
height: 5'9"
weight: 130
hair: red
eyes: brown
status: happily married
kids: two dogs
location: Texas
religion: Pagan
jobby-job: truck driver
fetish: Converse

tv: Smallville, SX
drink: gin, merlot
connection: DSL

Current obsessions:
Kevin Windham
Travis Pastrana

Quake 3

Contact me:
--> fill out the form <-- - 1326495
- missdammit
- email




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Monday, April 29, 2002

I'm finally back. I got in from Yuma, AZ, yesterday at 7 pm. The last five hours were the worst. My load was almost 3000 lbs over-weight, so I couldn't speed much. #$%&!! Stupid army equipment. Anyhoo, I just wanted to say hi and tell y'all that I'm switching hosting companies AGAIN because I found a honey of a company that's even cheaper and more glittery than Drak. So my site may disappear for a few hours tomorrow or whatever day comes after tomorrow. I've been on the road for so long I no longer know, nor care, what day it is. Such is the so-called "freedom of the open road." The road can kiss my bootay. I'm so glad to be home. I'll be putting up pictures as soon as this hosting dilemma is squared away and I'm fully rested. Right now I feel like death eating a soda cracker. Mwah.

PS - Zack got us Photoshop 7 last week. He frickin' rules. :)

PPS - The following picture was taken yesterday. That big-ass piece of equipment is the Buffalo. It holds five or six people and it's used to dig up and explode landmines. The spare tires weigh 1500 lbs apiece. The whole thing is bomb-proof. One of the EG&G guys is supposed to email me pictures of it after it's been blown up. Woo! Oh, and Tanya: I'm wearing my Fluttergirl shirt in the pic. ;)

suzie 04:47 PM CST [link] [8 comments]

Thursday, April 25, 2002

... and as promised, i've got some mp3's for you. be sure you 'right click' and choose 'save as' ...

first and foremost, per the earlier post, dig on some wesley willis with one of his best: the chicken cow

or for something a little more ... classic, here's a song from my first crush. that's right kids, it's crystal gayle with 'don't it make my brown eyes blue'. when i was very, very young i had a thing for her. mainly i think it was her extremely long hair that i thought was really neato. i was hooked and i loved to hear this song and would sing it with my mom anytime she was up for it. the really neat story behind it, though, is that we have a tape that we got from suzie's mom that has her (suzie) singing this very song when she was about the same age i was when i was 'in love' with crystal gayle. i suppose at the time the stars were already trying to prepare me for when suzie's path and mine would meet.

i would attempt to pull the audio from that tape and encode it to .mp3 format so that i could post it, but suzie would probably kill me. on the other hand ... it's really, really cute and i think i'll have to post it tomorrow if i can find that tape.

and now for the news we've all (mainly me, but you guys count too ..) been waiting for:

suzie will be back on sunday at some ungodly hour (extremely early in the morning) ... that's right, you'll have fluttergirl back here to give you the 1st person story on what she's been up to and how everything's been at work. actually the way she sounded when i talked to her earlier this evening she may sleep through sunday and crawl over to this computer sometime on monday. i talked to her this morning right around 11:00 a.m. and she was heading out of nashville, tennessee. i called her this afternoon when i was heading home from work (about 6:30 p.m.) and she was about 150 miles out from amarillo, texas and had not stopped yet. now i don't know about you guys, but damn ... that's more driving endurance then i'll ever have. she sounded really beat, though, and definitely sounded like she's ready to be back here. the girls and i are more than ready for her to be back here. hurry up, sunday, get here quick ...

zack 10:45 PM CST [link] [5 comments]

Wednesday, April 24, 2002

one of the radio stations here has a contest in the mornings that they call 'nearly impossible trivia', it basically consists of survey results from different magazines. they give you what question was asked in the poll/survey and if you call in and get the answer right .... well ... you win. so anyway this morning's trivia question was "what song is the one sung most often by guys in the shower?"

i don't sing in the shower so i didn't have any personal experience to influence my guess, but i figured it would be something like "singing in the rain". one of the first guys that called in guessed that same song, but that wasn't it. there were some other guesses that i thought were pretty good but i never would have guessed what it actually was.

roxanne by the police.

is it just me, or does that just not seem like a rub-a-dub-dub shower song? better yet, what do you sing in the shower?

zack 08:19 AM CST [link] [10 comments]

Sunday, April 21, 2002

i was on icq with a buddy of mine from work and i thought this part of the chat was worthy of a post. enjoy! by the way, he's crm ...

psyklone(23:10 PM) : can you hear me now?

crm(23:10 PM) : wife did the 180 on me and now pulls it

psyklone(23:11 PM) : *lol*

psyklone(23:11 PM) : sweet

psyklone(23:11 PM) : the ol' rope-a-dope

crm(23:12 PM) : i still annoy the hell out of her though with my insistence that it's pronounced "SPIderman" like its a last name

psyklone(23:12 PM) : *LOL* that's hilarious ...

crm(23:13 PM) : i also got in a bit of trouble for convincing the kids that cat treats were okay to eat...i had them choose between "shrimp and tuna", "chicken" or "beef w/ bacon"

crm(23:14 PM) : they protested at first but i assured them that kids can eat them as snacks and that they are healthy snacks

psyklone(23:14 PM) : *LOL* man ... see, this is exactly why i look forward to having offspring.

crm(23:14 PM) : we got almost all the way out of the pet aisle when the wife questioned the basket contents and saw my daughter holding her selection

psyklone(23:15 PM) : hahahh! you were busted ...

crm(23:15 PM) : my son goes "dad is gonna let us eat cat food!"

psyklone(23:15 PM) : now that is classic.

crm(23:15 PM) : and my daughter almost started crying cuz she had picked out the shrimp and tuna all by herself

psyklone(23:16 PM) : i need to write some of these down so i can use them a few years from now.

crm(23:16 PM) : we had morgan going the other night while watching spanish soaps

crm(23:16 PM) : feel free

crm(23:16 PM) : we told her that she hadnt learned those words yet

psyklone(23:16 PM) : hehehehe!!

psyklone(23:16 PM) : another classic. man, that is good ...

crm(23:17 PM) : and i was translating the conversations...she finally figgered out it was a diff laguage though, but for a while it was greAt

crm(23:17 PM) : kids are so gullible, it's their own fault

psyklone(23:18 PM) : damn skippy ...

zack 11:54 PM CST [link] [3 comments]

well i'm sure by now everyone's heard the news about layne staley being found dead. i had no idea until suzie called me yesterday afternoon and told me about it. what a bummer. as far as i know they haven't released what he died of but i'll be extremely surprised if it wasn't heroin that did it. what a waste.

other than that news, the weekend here at the ol' homestead was devoid of anything interesting. list of things i intended to do this weekend:

website work
clean entire apartment
clean the car and the truck
wash the dogs

of those things i actually did:

cleaned the living room

but i really did have good intentions, i just could get motivated. i did get a chance to run up to fry's, though. for those of you not familiar with the greatness of fry's it's basically geek heaven; home to anything electronic, computerized, and all things containing sugar and caffeine. i was working on stan (to clarify, our computers are all named after southpark characters) today adding an additional harddrive for some more software i just acquired and as i was doing so the power supply went dead. it did not go quietly; it went out like a rockstar complete with bright blue flash and zapping noises. this naturally justified a trip to fry's for a new power supply. i ended up deciding on getting a new case ... and then i decided to get two cases because really you never know when you'll need one (heheh ..)

so anyway, getting back to the whole reason i even brought up the trip to the digital promised land ...

as i'm perusing the aisles i stumble across a real show stopper. there's a guy bending over to look at a bottom shelf and as he moves in for a closer look his ass is basically blinding myself as well as the other hapless souls who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. he was completely unphased though. as i walk to pass him he stands up and that's when the rest of the freak show came into focus. at this point i notice his red banded tube socks (yes, they're pulled up as high as humanly possible), shoes with the just the velcro fasters (nope, no laces to speak of although there were supposed to be), wind shorts that the elastic was pretty much worn out of (that poor elastic never stood a chance), and his shirt was a football jersey that didn't fit him well enough to cover anything further down than about halfway down his rather large gut. so many issues here, but one thing i've got to say is if you're going to wear a jersey to a public place at least wear an undershirt. uuugh. and the worst part is it's not as if he was bad off, i forgot to mention that the clothes themselves were very nice. if viewed individually each piece of his little ensemble would strike anyone as a nice piece of clothing. but combined, it was crazy. now in the industry i work in i'm no stranger to typical geek hygiene and dressing habits but nothing's prepared me for that. the guy had pretty much single-handedly constructed a train wreck and slapped it on to go shopping for a couple of computer books. wow.

anyway ... yeah, there's a general idea what never to wear. you're welcome.


zack 10:00 PM CST [link] [4 comments]

Friday, April 19, 2002

i've got a question for you guys. when you come to a site that has two options, flash version or non-flash version, which do you typically choose? i'm in the process of redesigning my site and i have a flash version (tastefully done, not one that takes all day to load) that i want to put up in addition to a regular html version and i'm wondering if it will be worth doing that or just going straight html. any feedback would be appreciated. hopefully i'll be able to have the new version up the early part of next week. yay for me!

so last night i was doing some computer work and the pups kept jumping up in my lap looking for more attention. zoe went so far as to bring me a ball and a knotted rope and drop them in my lap. i decided that if they had energy to get rid of then i'd do my best to appease them so i packed on some running gear and and girls and headed to the lake. it occurred to me about 40 minutes into jogging with them that they very well may outlast me but fortunately that's about the time they started giving out. by the time i got them back to the car they were completely wiped and we were a sad sight. i had worked up a pretty good sweat and had blown out an air pocket in the sole of one of the my nikes, they had their tongues hanging nearly to the ground and were panting like they were trying to hyperventilate, and i had gnats stuck to me. okay, here's a tip for anyone going jogging near a lake in the summer. don't wear chapstick. it was pretty gross running through a cloud of gnats here and there and having a handful of them stick to your lips. ugh.

but anyway, zoe and squeak had nothing left by then. i don't think i got a mile before they were passed out in the passenger seat, at which point i was wishing like everything that i had some puppy deodorant i could have put on them before i took them running. wooo!

i'm curious to see if that little excursion was good enough to tide them over for a while or if they're going to be up for going again tonight. hopefully they'll feel like staying in, i don't feel like going anywhere.

that's all for now, more later.

zack 01:25 PM CST [link] [10 comments]

Tuesday, April 16, 2002

well she's in virginia right now. so far the plan is to go from there and then to maryland, then missouri, and then i think back to maryland. it was an awesome surprise to have her back this weekend, though. woohoo! but for now i've been left again to entertain myself. sounds like a dangerous proposition, yes? indeed ...

alright, did anyone else what fear factor last night. wow ... that was wild. for anyone that didn't see it, the first stunt was to strut down a runway for a couple of minutes in the buck. the looks on their faces when they found out what they had to do were classic. everyone did it, though. now the second one was disgusting, but it was like watching a trainwreck. i couldn't turn away. they each had to play a round of shuffleboard and whatever number (0-5) the puck landed on was the number of madagascar hissing cockroaches they had to eat. for anyone who doesn't know what those are, they aren't the typical roaches that infest houses and apartments. these puppies are about 3-3.5 inches long and they actually hiss. it was crazy. so far from all of the fear factors i've watched there really hasn't been anything that i wouldn't try, especially when it comes to eating things because that doesn't bother me. but i do have a problem dealing with roaches. i don't mind bugs at all and i like spiders but there's something about roaches that freaks me out. i'd try munching on a couple for that $50,000 prize though.

what would you not do (within reason) for $50,000? i'd love to know.

zack 09:17 AM CST [link] [9 comments]

Saturday, April 13, 2002

I'm home, briefly, on my way to Maryland. I'll be visiting Washington D.C. while I'm there. Jim, I wish I had time to hang out with Boob, but I don't think I'll be able to. Thanks for offering me your friend, though. I hope everything is good out there. I'll call you this week!

I'm leaving tomorrow morning at 7. I'll be back at the end of the month. I have some pictures of NM, but I won't get around to putting them up until I return.

New Mexico is beautiful, in a lonely and wasted kind of way. I'm not much into the desert scene. Cactus plants only interest me if: a) they're taller than I am, or b) they're dead. Luckily one of the engineering guys at EG&G turned me on to cactus tree skeletons. I collected a few and I'm going to get more when I get back out there.

I'm hauling a mine detection thingamabob. It's called the Meerkat. It attracts a lot of attention on the back of my stepdeck trailer. So if you see a redhead girl grooving a yellow Peterbilt (aka: the Banana Boat) and pulling a funky looking piece of green equipment down the highway between New Mexico and Maryland... honk at me.

xxoo -- suzie

PS - I know I haven't left yet, but I miss you already, Z. <3 I love you so much.

suzie 03:39 PM CST [link] [6 comments]

Thursday, April 11, 2002


she may be coming back in for a day on the way to maryland. that would rock sooooooo much. she's had fun in new mexico and she wants to take a vacation out that way when she gets back in town. i'm thinking that we'll go camping out there for a few days and go check out carlsbad caverns. yay!

so far the day's been relatively uneventful. i don't care how many times i drive in morning rush hour traffic here, i don't think i'll ever be able to get over the way that people seem to think that using a blinker is a sign of weakness. it's beyond me.

today's completely meaningless information:

i'm currently trying to finish setting up a test network up here at work, so far so good. i'm building the last two machines right now, one's an nt server and the other is a solaris ultra sparc 10, and neither install is very much fun to watch. oh well, it's got to be done. meanwhile i've got my winamp blasting on one of the other computers. "what's in the playlist currently?", you ask ...

b.b. king and eric clapton - riding with the king
better than ezra - at the stars
blu sanders - radio help
bob dylan - it ain't me babe
bob dylan - masters of war
buck jones - wasted
coroner - internal conflicts
drain sth - crack the liar's smile
fugazi - waiting room
g. love & special sauce - blues music
g. love & special sauce - cold beverage
ian moore - barline 99
jeff buckley - eternal life
jeff buckley - last goodbye (acoustic)
jeff buckley - the sky is a landfill
joe ely - the road goes on forever and the party never ends
k's choice - virgin state of mind
kmfdm - anarchy
muse - newborn
neil young - the needle and the damage done
pj harvey - down by the water
school of fish - 3 strange days
slow roosevelt - radio drowning
slow roosevelt - super model
starsailor - good souls
system of a down - sugar
the crystal method - name of the game
tricky - evolution revolution love

well i'm out for now, i've got some geeking and grooving to do.

cheers kids!


zack 11:28 AM CST [link] [9 comments]

Tuesday, April 9, 2002

well i meant to make a post last night. i had it all written up and ready to go, but our internet connection was down so ... i'm making last night's post right now:

monday, april 8

yeah, so here i sit ... my fourth full glass (and i'm not kidding when i say 'full glass') of coke & bourbon of the night in one hand and my guitar in the other. actually i sat my guitar down two minutes ago so i could type this. rest assured though, my bourbon is still in my left hand. woe is me ...

suzie's out of town for three weeks (read "forever") and the best i can do is play for 30 minutes before i can't feel my fingers anymore. sure i haven't played in quite a while but when i was a teenager and was feeling all of that teen angst/depression, it seems as though i could play for several bluesy hours at a time. have i really aged this quickly? goddamn that jonny lang. i mention him, not just because i'm listening to him right now and he's been kicking my ass for about an hour, but because he's such a damn good blues guitarist. i highly recommend his cd 'Wander This World'. actually i recommend any of his music because he's a badass but whatever ...

damn the youngbucks.

i spoke with suzie over the phone a couple of times today and she said that she may not be gone for three full weeks afterall. apparently there's a chance that she may be home later this week. i can only hope. i've resolved to psych myself out that she will be because not only do i miss her like everything already, our dogs (zoe and squeak) have started staring at me like i'm a juicy fillet mignon. or is it the other way around? the world may never know. let's hope not anyway because it may get messy and i may end up missing a couple of limbs.

so after i left her at her mom & dad's house on sunday morning i drove home, all-the-while talking to the dogs in my lap telling them how mommy (suzie) will be home before they know it and how dad (me) will take care of them completely in the meantime. i was hoping that i pulled it off okay, but apparently squeak (the youngest) wasn't conviced.

now for the record, squeak is mommy's dog and zoe is mine. that seems to be the way it turned out, anyway. so i walk up the stairs and into the apartment, closing the door behind me. as i walked to the fridge to grab some cold green tea to drink i only noticed the sound of one set of puppy footsteps walking behind me in the kitchen. sure enough, it was zoe. that didn't surprise me too much, not just because she followed me (as she always does) but because she followed the sound of a refrigerator opening up, as do i. smart dog. but i was wondering where our little girl, squeak, was. so i peeked around the corner and there she was ... sitting by the front door looking up towards the doorknob like she didn't understand why suzie wasn't walking through behind her. i tried reasoning with the little pup, but she wasn't having it. she decided to actually lay down in front of the door for about 10 minutes before i could convince her to come and eat. she didn't seem to comprehend that i walked through the door and suzie didn't .. the poor thing. suzie spoke to her over the phone yesterday for a few minutes. squeak wagged her tail like there was no tomorrow and layed her ears back and sniffed the phone pretty thoroughly but i don't think she grasped what was going on.

anyway, i'll do my best to fill the shoes that i've been left. hopefully it won't be for as long as we've been told. in the meantime bear with me. and no, i don't use capital letters when i type. except in legal documents, and even then it's not a guarantee.



zack 03:24 PM CST [link] [7 comments]

Saturday, April 6, 2002

Check it out... I made it into the Mirror Project: Peterbilt.

I'm outta here in the morning. I'll be back in about three weeks. Zack will be posting while I'm gone. Expect much geek content. <3

rawwwwr!! ffffttttpp! ffffffttttttppppp!!!!
Zack's toothbrush is having an affair with my Michael Jackson doll.

Love y'all. Don't forget about me.

suzie 10:33 PM CST [link] [7 comments]

Thursday, April 4, 2002

Because that Spice Girls song is soooo annoying, even after all this time:

Zebrahead - Wannabe (Spice Girls Cover).mp3

mp3 expiration date: 04.11.02

You know you want it. <3

suzie 09:38 PM CST [link] [6 comments]

Yesterday afternoon I went out to my parent's house to celebrate my dad's birthday. Happy Birthday, Padre!! Dad was in his thirties when I was born, but he's been celebrating his 29th birthday ever since I was a little girl. Next year I'll be caught up with him.

Happy Birthday, Padre!
Dad & me: two of the coolest truck drivers you'll ever see.

I had a dream last night that I met Jimmy Fallon and he was a vampire. I'm watching too much television again.

suzie 09:10 AM CST [link] [7 comments]

Tuesday, April 2, 2002


I'm leaving early Sunday morning for my three week stint on the road. If I don't come back it's because I've been abducted by aliens in New Mexico. (please let them look like the aliens on Roswell. pleeeeeaaaasssseeeee.)

Things that make me feel contemptuous of strangers:

1. Pine tree air fresheners dangling from rearview mirrors. Why not get a bumper sticker to increase your advertisement campaign? "My car and I STINK! Ask me why!"

2. Smoking. It's a nasty, expensive, annoying, and dangerous habit. Hi mom. I love you.

3. Not using a seatbelt. If you run into my car because your driving skills are only matched by your wicked stupidity I don't want you splattered all over my back window.

4. Not wearing a helmet while riding a motorcycle (or bicycle for that matter.) If you hit me, or Gods' forbid, I hit you, I don't want the extra trauma of seeing your brain smeared across the pavement. Gross.

5. Driving erratically around motorcycles. My parents and brother are idiots who don't like to wear helmets while riding their motorcycles. Pay extra attention around motorcycles, damn you!

6. Not using your blinker to change lanes. It's a common courtesy, ok? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

7. I don't care if you use your cell phone while you're driving. Just don't start weaving all over the road, and don't slow down in the fast lane! STOP DRIVING SLOW IN THE FAST LANE! You people know who you are.

8. Begging for money at stoplights, especially with the “God Bless” signs. Don’t try staring at me. It doesn’t work for my dogs and it certainly isn’t going to work for you. The only people I give money to at stoplights are firemen and nuns. Crackwhores and transients don’t interest me. Get a job, damn you.

9. Throwing litter out your car window. Soda cans, paper, cigarette butts... you nasty bastards. I wish I could bitchslap you. And if I ever go insane, I'm gonna.

I'm trying to be a more positive person, so I'm going to leave this list at 9 entries.

Comedy Central seems to have taken Absolutely Fabulous off the air (damn them). They still show clips of it in various network commercials, though. In any case, I've changed the name of this journal/blog to "fuzzy memories." Story of my life. Ha!

Finally, another MP3 download. I hope you enjoy it.

New Order - True Faith.mp3 | 5.04mb

mp3 expiration date: 04.09.02

fluttergirl 09:56 AM CST [link] [17 comments]

Monday, April 1, 2002

I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but at least one of you people out there seems to think that my friend Jim is Jimmy Fallon. Right. I just sit around at home, chatting on AIM with Jimmy Fallon.


I received this great letter from Dave (in New York) last night:


Hi. I'm Dave.

I love your site and the Greymatter
program is really going to be useful to me so thank
you. I found your site searching for Jimmy Fallon
references. I'm good at reading people or so people
have said and jimmy seems like the type I'd get along
with eventually but I screwed up so badly. Read on.

Like a teenie-bopper in an early 20-something year-old
guy's body, I IMed "jim" curious if it was Jimmy
Fallon and wanting to be sure that he knew his
screenname was on the internet. Anyway, he wouldn't
respond, I didn't know why, the hunter in me hates not
getting what I want. My codependent side perked up.
The brooding artist in me got a little depressed and
the "wannabe" hacker decided to try to get in his
computer to see if it was him and so after the second
time speaking to him, having already linked him to
your site and (all hail) i downloaded
a program that allowed me to sniff out IP addresses
using hyperlinks. So, like a good boy I if I got him
to help me test the program, he couldn't say I did
this against his wishes. Anyway, i'm screwed up and
have been in seclusion tweaking my art a month or two
too long. After playfully and talkatively objecting
him not answering me, he reassured me that it was just
his answering service, I came online today, told him
about my hacker experiment and mister programmer
supreme freaked out and blocked me.

So since there are people with malicious intentions, I
really would take the IM screenshots off the
fluttergirl site--and could you forward this to Jim
and tell him to e-mail me. E-mail was made for me so
I wouldn't bother people via IM. lol

Dave (from New york) Happy Easter!!!


Dear Dave (from New York),

At first I thought that English was your second language (and it very well could be), but then I realized that you actively shun punctuation. Thank you for the kind words about my site. I do appreciate them.

I'd love to know why you're stalking Jimmy Fallon. I mean, I personally have nothing against it. More power to you. But why Jimmy? Is it because he's such a loveable dork? Is it because he's (to borrow a phrase from a quiz) so "goshdarn fine?" All admirable reasons, I'm sure.

It seems that you have annoyed my friend Jim (who is NOT Jimmy Fallon) into blocking you. I'm rather shocked, because I would have expected him to fuck with you... a lot. But right now he has stuff going on, so it looks like you're going to have to get your jollies off of some other anonymous Jim.

On a side note, I *am* pleased that someone contacted (my) Jim from the IM screenshots I've posted. I thought for sure that writing "for a good time, email (Jim's email address)" on various bathroom walls would have elicited a response first, though.

Dave, if your cyberstalking ever puts you in contact with the real Jimmy Fallon, drop me another line, mmmkay? :)



fluttergirl 11:48 AM CST [link] [72 comments]