Monday, March 31, 2003
Ok... WHY didn't anyone inform me that...
... he was on Ed?!? I've never watched Ed before, but I probably WOULD HAVE if I had KNOWN that HE was on the BEFRIGGING SHOW.
Seriously... what am I paying you people for?!?
suzie 10:07 PM CST [link] [170 comments]
Friday, March 28, 2003
There's an old man who lives across the courtyard who always steps out on his porch/balcony (he lives in a downstairs unit) every time I take the dogs out. He's tried to start up a conversation with me a few times, but most of the time he just stares. Z and I call him Pervy McPervertson. I told Zack that if I ever turn up missing the police should check Pervy's apartment for my mutilated body. He just looks like that kind of a guy.
I received a spam email yesterday for a penis enlargement pill. The subject of the email was "Satisfy your woman, you pindick." Gahahahaha!
Zack has invited some of his cronies over tonight for enchiladas, tacos, and Jackass on dvd. All boys, no girls. I need more girlfriends around here. If any chicas in the Plano/Frisco/121 area want to hang out, please email me. Dammit, I wish we'd moved South instead of North.
I had a dream the other night that Crispin Glover was teaching me how to play the tuba.
suzie 11:00 AM CST [link] [13 comments]
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy,
France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance,
and Germany doesn't want to go to war.
We have our DSL back and it's even faster than our old service! Glee! I'm working on revamping the CC and MJ pages. I'm also thinking of changing to Moveable Type and moving my journal to the main page.
Zack and I are going to buy a Jeep. And not one of those fugly new models. Our friends Meghan and Ryan just bought a Scrambler. Zack is jealous. This purchase may cut into our summer vacation funds, but to hell with South Dakota... we're getting a frigging Jeep!
I was kidding about the to hell with South Dakota thing. I love that state. Some day we're going to buy a cabin in the Black Hills. If fate is kind to me maybe we can even buy back my childhood home. That would be a dream come true.
I have a confession to make. Zack and I don't live in Dallas anymore. When we moved in January we relocated to the 'burbs. We now reside in Plano (AKA - the Heroin Capital of Texas). It's just north of Dallas. It's kind of Twilight Zone-ish up here. We have all the shopping convenience of living in Dallas, but with better parking. Our local mall has a regulation hockey sized ice skating rink. I live about three miles away from World Market, Whole Foods, Bed Bath and Beyond, Ulta, and Ross... along with every other store you could possibly imagine. Zack's commute to work is less than 2 miles. The traffic is marginally better than Dallas. Everyone drives expensive SUVs. They seem to favour H2s. Women wear fur coats to go grocery shopping. Crime is relatively low (aside from the heroin addicted teenagers. but they're all from rich families, so their only crimes involve shooting up and occasionally discarding their used needles in parking lots.) so people are very friendly and chatty. We have actual wildlife up here. Bunny rabbits frolic in our courtyard. We've seen three coyotes. In the less-than-two miles to Zack's work you drive right past a pasture that is home to three or four full grown Texas Steers. Those things have scary-ass antlers. Horns. Whatever.
Unkle John, I hope you don't think less of me for being a 'burbanite.
Other observations... I've noticed that I get a bit more respect since I got my tattoo. Since it's on my forearm it's almost always visible, unless it's cold enough for a jacket. Children gawk. Teenagers think it's cool. Adults either gawk or think it's cool. Hoity-toity clerks in Macy's and Nordstrom seem nervous, like I could get violent if they act condescending, so they either ignore me or are very eager to please. Old people gawk. When people ask me if it's a real tattoo I tell them it's a lick-n-stick. No matter the reaction, I find it infinitely amusing. I wish I had gotten a tattoo years ago.
Once again I'm meeting strangers who think they've met me before... or else I look exactly like someone they know or used to know. When I was helping out Z's Mom & Sis with their yard sale a young girl asked me if I went to her high school. Did that make my week? You bet your sweet bippy it did!
Ok, enough jibber-jabber. The following are some really great websites I've found recently. Enjoy.
Clark Kent Woke Up Gay - A *hilarious* Smallville based short story! Love it, love it, love it!
The Green Machine!! - I had one of these as a kid.
- Clex. You know you want it.
- This is some funny shiznit.
- I'd be all over that like a duck on a junebug. ha.
suzie 01:49 PM CST [link] [7 comments]
Friday, March 21, 2003
Am I the only person who has naughty dreams about Harry Potter as represented by Jimmy Fallon?
So I've been back in Dallas for a week now. Nothing exciting to report. I still haven't answered any email. I'm rotten. Tonight we're going to hook up with Izaac and Nicole and catch that new Benicio Del Toro flick. I haven't been to the movies in eons.
Our DSL will be connected on Tuesday. Yay! Now I can stop neglecting my friends.
Our weather is all floopy. One minute it’s in the 70’s and the sun is shining. The next minute it’s 60 degrees and pissing rain. I’m really starting to dislike March weather.
A couple weeks ago I bought a 4 pound 2.5 ounce can of tuna at Sam’s. Yesterday evening I opened it. For dinner I had a tuna fish sandwich. For breakfast I had a tuna fish sandwich. For lunch I had a tuna fish sandwich. The moral of this story? Buying in bulk when there’s only two people in your household is frigging stupid.
I’m seriously, seriously thinking of selling off a good-ish portion of my Soundgarden collection. My beloved coloured vinyl and knick-knacks are packed away at my parent’s house. I haven’t even looked at it all for a couple of years. Sell it? Keep it? I’m torn. Torn, like an old sweater.
After much consideration (I have a hard time falling asleep at night), I’ve decided that a remake of Dawn of the Dead would be a mistake. Why mess with a classic? They should just re-release the original in theatres. Rrrrrrrr… brains.
suzie 02:01 PM CST [link] [6 comments]
Thursday, March 13, 2003
I’m still in Austin, hanging out with Z's mom & sis. Z is in Dallas all by his lonesome. Poor guy. I'm having a great time.
I didn't realize that my tattoo was scabbed over until the scab started coming off. I was putting on some lotion a few days ago and I noticed a couple black dots seemed to have moved. "Gah! My tattoo is melting!!" I'm silly.
We saw an accident in the Wal-Mart parking lot last weekend. Some lady driving a Volvo wagon (haha Kristin - I thought of you) backed into a Ford Ranger. She busted out her taillights and must have gotten her bumper caught in the Ranger's bumper, because when she stepped on her accelerator we heard a really loud bang and she squealed her tires halfway down the parking lot. She tried to leave the scene, but she was stuck behind another car that was waiting to turn. Luckily for the owner of the Ranger a cop was in the parking lot. He pulled up behind her and flipped on his lights, which prompted her to jump out of her car and shriek "I don't know what happened!!" Yeah, right. As we left he was making a report and she was talking very hysterically to someone on her cell phone. Stupid woman.
Last night I dreamed that Tiffany and I were drinking gin in an apartment. Suddenly we heard a loud noise outside and I stepped out on the balcony to see Godzilla and King Kong wreaking havoc on the neighboring apartments. King Kong was so tall I couldn’t see his head. He kept stepping on buildings and smashing them. Godzilla was shooting fire out his mouth and vaporizing people and buildings. Tiffany was terrified, so I grabbed her arm in one hand and my gin in the other hand and ran for our monster truck, which was conveniently parked right outside our door. I drove over all the cars in the parking lot, darted through King Kong’s legs, and got us out of town. I think Rupert Everret was one of our neighbors that got vaporized. I really shouldn’t eat jalapenos right before I go to bed.
suzie 02:31 PM CST [link] [7 comments]
Saturday, March 8, 2003
Hey kids. We're in Austin right now visiting the in-laws. I can't believe I voluntarily got up at 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday. Everyone else is still passed out. Sometimes I think I'm out to get myself.
I haven't had any caffeine yet, because I don't know where Mom keeps the coffee. Dammit.
I was perusing my email before I left Dallas and I realized that I missed responding to a bunch of letters. Interesting and nice strangers, please don't hate me. I'll write back very soon. Once I get conversation going I'm usually pretty good about keeping in touch.
Tattoo update: No scabbing, no itching. It looks awesome. The feedback from people on the street ranges from admiring to disgust to open-mouthed stares (mostly by the geriatric crowd.) I'm terribly, terribly pleased.
Holy crap! I completely forgot to mention that they're going to remake one of my all time favourite movies -- Dawn of the Dead!! I wish I could play a zombie in it. I've wanted to be a zombie in a movie ever since I was a little girl. A zombie in a movie and Undisputed Ruler of All Space and Time. I was an ambitious tot.
suzie 06:30 AM CST [link] [4 comments]
Tuesday, March 4, 2003
I was a little nervous about getting my first tattoo, but it wasn't bad at all. I expected a kind of searing pain. It was actually a lot like plucking my eyebrows... really, really fast. When I was a teenager I bought an Epilady hair remover and used it maybe twice. Now THAT hurt. My tattoo artist, Deborah, is wonderful. I'm definitely sticking with her for all my tattoos. She's nice and gentle and talented. Yay! It's *exactly* what I wanted. Thanks for making it a reality, Deb!!!
I proudly present to you, my Z tattoo, on my right forearm:
I love you with all my heart, Z. To infinity and beyond!
suzie 07:31 PM CST [link] [15 comments]
Today is Fat Tuesday and my 29th birthday. I can't frigging believe I'm almost 30. Blech.
At 6:30 tonight I'm getting my first tattoo. I'm excited and a little nervous. She gave me good advice about getting it done. I think I'm ready. I'm getting the tat on my right forearm. Ack -- I just realized that my Quake game is going to be put off for awhile until the pain goes away. Damn the luck.
Mmmm... unsalted potato chips.
suzie 02:27 PM CST [link] [8 comments]